Ask Yourself For Forgiveness

A memory can lead me into yesterday.

Bring me back to that exact moment in time.

Like a mime I live and lie within an invisible box.

I have been able to deceive myself, into believing I am and am not the fox.

I travel time and space with no rhythm of reason, because I have committed against myself the highest form of treason.

I have forgotten that manipulation and how it truly hurt me, and in my time away i unconsciously decided to be my own Judge and Jury.

Execution. Not of what has held me back, or the falsehoods that keep me within my shame.

But of the little boy who has never heard his name uttered with an ounce of love.

They told him look above.

Look all around.

If he didn’t he'd end up 9 circles underground.

Now that boy is underwater. Drowning. Waiting to be pulled up by the young man who forgot his presence, his own future killed him in the name or reputation.

Of salvation.

The young man believes that his only way of sanitation is to kill the one thing that makes him who he is.

Who he will always be.

It only took him 21 years, and 9 months to see. The muscles on my body, the bones deep within my skin.

Were first and foremost his.

With that. Amir I am sorry.

For hurting you more than anyone else ever has.

For taking your talents and hiding them to make sure everyone else felt safe.

For taking your lights and stomping them out for the fear of being judged.

This world has been terrifying and absolutely awful. I want to work with you, my youngest self, and all the years that follow.

Let's do our worst.

Lets do our best.

God help all those who stand in our ages way.

Amun, Ashé.